KERRI'S STORY
The last few years have been an adjustment for everyone. It's been a time of contrast, growth and expansion, at least it has been for me. In the last few years I've lost both of my parents, my favorite uncle, an aunt, my business went on hold and I made a the decision to end my marriage. So much change in so little time.
My Tears Began to Flow
Growing up as the "strong" one, the "non-emotional" one in my family, I always hid, stuffed inside, or ignored my feelings (other than happiness - don't get me wrong, I really was happy, I just didn't know there were other emotions too). After my parents passed away, I felt so much grief. This was not something I could hide or ignore. It was huge and powerful. It started me down the path some would call "dark night of the soul."
The emotions I had been holding so tightly began to pour out of me, whether I wanted them to or not. I cried, sobbed, rocked back and forth in a ball, and didn't stop for a year. Every day, more. At first all I wanted was for it to be over, but the longer it went on, the more I realized this wasn't going to just end any time soon. Finally, I accepted it, allowed it, and saw the beauty in my sadness, my grief, my wonderful range of emotions. I'm not saying the pain went away, but I accepted the pain and place that I was in.
As the tears continued to fall, I began to shed layers of what was never really me. I relearned to connect with myself, my true self, not the one I created to stay safe, to hide, to follow societal and familial conditioning. Slowly taking off the shackles from my heart, learning to live a big life and let my light shine. Somewhere in this process I was introduced to my spiritual awakening, to the “woo woo” all around me.
My Imrama
Want to know a secret?
I’m still letting this side of me out. I’m still getting to know this deeper ball of energy called Kerri. I still have days where the tears flow, but it's few and far between. To work through all of this I deepened my meditation practice, I learned about oracle cards, I started getting in tune with my intuition, my higher self. I embarked on an IMRAMA (Celtic word meaning Soul Journey). Igniting my soul fire wasn’t just about one thing, it was about doing anything that led to my highest good, my highest healing, growth, and expansion. Not just for my own good, but for the good of all. For me, this included traditional therapy, reiki sessions, releasing trapped emotions, shadow work, inner child healing, lots of reading and research, manifesting, and asking a lot of questions when I am triggered or having strong emotions. Looking inside to see where my thoughts, feelings, and emotions were coming from. My ego, or my soul? Were they conditioned or reactive responses? Did they come from fear or from love? Was I projecting them onto people and situations that didn’t deserve it?
My Desire Is To Walk Beside You!
What made the biggest difference for me, was that although this was my path, and no one else could do this work for me, I had people. I had guides to walk this path by my side, to offer me space for whatever I needed in that moment.
I know I'm not the only one going through something like this. We are at a time of huge shifts in ourselves and the world, and it is my desire to help others reconnect with their authentic inner self, their soul fire so that we can heal, grow, and expand, not just for our own good, but for the good of all.
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